Former Leaf Andrew Raycroft speaks about mental health issues while playing in Toronto
It's easy to understand the rigors of playing in the National Hockey League, what with the top notch talent you're matched up against night in, night out over an 82-game schedule. It takes a mental and physical toll on the players, which amounts of several ups and downs over the course of the season and a career. However, some players face the challenges of playing in more demanding hockey markets, such as New York, Montreal and Toronto. Such is the case for former Leafs netminder Andrew Raycroft.
"It started to snowball on me, getting more and more difficult," Raycroft told The Athletic's James Mirtle. "I just didn't know what to do. I wasn't Martin Brodeur. I wasn't Patrick Roy, where I had the talent or the pedigree to just to play my way out of it. I needed confidence and I needed mental clarity and I wasn't able to find that."
Raycroft, who posted a career-best 37 wins with the Buds in the '06-'07 season was thought to be the answer to the Maple Leafs' problems between the pipes. The Leafs, at that point in time, had had a revolving door of both young and veteran netminders, who came in for a cup of coffee in Toronto, before departing to less pressure-cooker-esque-type markets, for lack of a better term. The pressure that the situation in Toronto put on Raycroft ultimately led to fatigue and periodic depression, though the Belleville, Ontario native hesitated to openly attach the term to that period in his life.
"I don't know. I'm sure there was. I wasn't happy, that's for sure," he said. "It was hard for me to be excited about anything and get to the rink. ... I don't know if it was depression clinically or what exactly that feels like, but there was certainly times when I was really sad and just didn't want to deal with anything.
"It was still at a time where it wasn't frowned upon but (getting help) wasn't encouraged by any means. And it goes to the point of me not really having the confidence to go and ask for help and just trying to deal with it myself. I don't really have many regrets. I tried my best. But I wish I asked for help."
Lacking confidence can really lend to a goaltender faltering and failing to execute. It is often spoken of when netminders are going through a bit of a slump, lengthy or otherwise. However, one can certainly understand why Raycroft didn't choose to seek help for his condition during that time, as there wasn't as much conversation surrounding men's mental health occurring and the "suck it up" mentality would have likely still been the probable response from teams and organizations instead of the more empathetic approach clubs elect to take now. Raycroft simply didn't want to reach out for fear of making things worse for himself.
"It would have made miles of difference, I believe, had I been able to just go and talk to someone," he added. "But if that had got out in the media that I was going to see someone? I was scared of that happening and looking even more weak than not just playing bad and losing games, but also looking like I can't handle it."
As a result of his struggles, Raycroft was bought out following his second season with the Leafs. Following his buyout, he was relegated to backup duty before leaving the NHL in 2012. He went on to retire from professional hockey in 2014 after a brief stint overseas.
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